More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
