I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
