A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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