thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
