youre lurking in front of me
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
