Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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