she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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