i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
