I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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