I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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