I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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