Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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