Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
