I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
