I will die if light touches me.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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