i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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