His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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