"it" just moved
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
