Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
