and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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