I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
