it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
