I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
