I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
