i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
