i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
This house was built for laser tag.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
