And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
