Rock
Scissors
Fuck
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
