Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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