Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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