She's JV to your varsity
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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