my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm too high and old for this...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize