How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
