My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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