Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
