Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Buhtt sex?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
