if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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