So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
