I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
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You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
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can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.