Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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