Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal

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(703): View more from Virginia

oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests

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(660): View more from Missouri

Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me

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(574): View more from Indiana

If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.

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(518): View more from New York

You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with

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(404): View more from Georgia

WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!

(404): View more from Georgia

Shut up Max.

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