I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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