He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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