Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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