someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
