Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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