I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize