You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
