I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
are you so shy because you have an std?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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