she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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