i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
