Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
