yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
