idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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