I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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