id be glad to
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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