where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
