Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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