I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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